Our mind never stops. It constantly generates web of thoughts. Moving or jumping from one thought to another thought; generating one thought from another thought. As one chain of thoughts breaks, another starts. Until and unless one really stresses and concentrate on something, his mind would move sometimes hap hazardly like a man walking in drunken state and sometimes sequentially just like an any logical person.
Few days back, I was driving back from my (training) office in Gandhinagar to my home. It is approximately 15 minutes run by car from my office to home. I normally drive at the speed of 60-70 km per hour since have learned that speeding beyond this consumes more fuel. Therefore, I was constantly giving side to the speeding cars which were showing dipper and honking at me. I noticed a sudden increase in traffic. When I was child, I used to come to Gandhinagar with my family on holidays to enjoy the peace. It was then, when I used to wonder if there is any sign of human life in Gandhinagar. Now, I see so much traffic, people standing at the bus stops, traffic police standing at the Koba Circle; ST buses have also increased in number. It is no longer the same Gandhinagar where I used to come in my childhood. Is it only the traffic or something else which is making it look so different, I thought. Also, I noticed there is a sudden decrease in the number of trees on the both sides of the Gandhinagar. It was then, when the road was so green; there were dense trees at both the sides of Gandhinagar Road. Now, it looks so naked; I can see the patches of dry land behind the thin line of trees which have been left from being cut. Like a child, I wished that it should rain nicely this year and it should again become green everywhere. A poem came in my mind which I read in 9Th standard. " सतपुरा के घने जंगल, नींद में दुबे हुए उंघते अनमने जंगल” Such a nice poem it was, the rhyming, the alliteration were superb. Satpura jungles must have been so beautiful that the poet could write such a beautiful and lively poem. If there would be no forest, there would probably be no poets writing romantic poems. The poems that have already been written will probably loose their meaning as there would be no one to understand and appreciate them. Next generation would not like to read such poems. All this filled me with a sinking feeling.
From reading poems, I again went into flash back. It was then, when I was in primary school, I used to read so many “chitra katha”. I remembered reading and rereading picture books of Mahaveer Bhagwan, Gautam Buddha, King Ashok, Meera Bai. Tinkle was another favourite comic book of mine. It was always an excitement for me to read the main story and “Supandi” in every issue. I never used to read the second story about basic science facts and experiments which was a regular feature of it. I repented not reading them, I don’t know why. “Gokulam” and “Naandan” were other children’s magazine that we used to read. I and my sister used to walk down with my father to a newspaperwala’s shop. My sister used to complete reading at least half of the latest comic standing at the shop itself. Now, I wonder if the kids born these days with so many cartoon channels on television, laptops and mobile phones in hands really do read such “chitra katha” and children’s magazines. Suddenly, I felt one generation older.
I was not really able to come out of the thoughts about my school and childhood. Until I had come in 11th standard I was so happy. Everybody in my school, my teachers, juniors, seniors knew me. In my school, one student was allowed to participate at max in three individual and two group events. It was always difficult for me to make a choice between English debate and Hindi elocution. For group events group song and General Knowledge Quiz were my most preferred choice. I was not good at dancing, that is the reason why my teachers never used to select me for any dance competitions. That is how I developed disinterest for dance. But, still I used to get lot of attention in my school. When I was young I cared less about what world is thinking about me, may be my world was small. But, slowly I was made to realise that world is not this. Pressure of 12th boards and the sentiments of so many people attached to it. This brought my detachment with my previous public activities. I started caring about what world is going to think about me. When I went to college, I found that were girls smarter than me. My detachment with public activities became stronger. World there was bigger and I became almost invisible to this new world. This confession to self made me little restless. My mind tried to go in a deceptive mode. But, then I controlled it to stand-by the truth. I don’t know how my mind linked all this with the chain of thoughts that had started with something else.
I was moving smoothly until a crossing came. I applied sudden brake to let the lateral crossers go. This brake also broke the thought process for a while. I saw a person on bicycle crossing the road. After a few seconds I resumed my driving and thinking. I thought it was then when I also rode bicycle to go to school daily. Now, I have a car to drive. How fast I have graduated from bicycle to Kinetic to car. But, I no longer enjoy driving car in the wish to reach faster every time; I get so impatient when I get stuck in traffic. Not only cycle but I also used to travel in city buses so many times. My mind again dragged me to another story book that I read in my childhood. Its name was “बस की सैर ”. It was a small story about a small village girl describing her excitement of travelling in a bus. That story is definitely out dated now. These days, I don’t think I or anybody for that matter would enjoy travelling in buses. It is out of compulsion that one would choose to travel in a bus and not out of choice. It was then when calmness in the life of people that they used to enjoy living even without the things which are basic necessities of today. Now our aspirations have changed so much in fact they widened so much that we don’t even enjoy what we have in our hands.
As I could have thought beyond this, the crossing for my house came and this chain got broke. From the ordeal in the sea of thoughts I came back to my usual life. Our mind never stops thinking but we are not very thoughtful always. That is the reason I thought it to be worth writing and sharing.
